When things are sore, scary, raw, big energy (or even if they’re not)... ground into what feels good (your resources).
Not to avoid feeling, but to provide some respite from intensity. Because (I might be stating the obvious here), life can be intense.
What is a resource?
Something that feels supportive, that allows us to reorient to a place of embodiment. When our nervous system is overloaded, for various reasons unique to each person, we might find ourselves with symptoms of disconnection (not being present with ourselves, and others)... for example the inability to make eye contact, fidgeting, pacing, fatigue, numb feeling, anxiety, hopelessness, to name a few. Connecting with a resource can allow us to come back to a greater sense of spaciousness, ease and drop in to embodied awareness... and help support our overall wellbeing.
We can connect with our resources regularly, even if we feel we don't need them (to support us in advance of those times we really do) and we can lean on them even more during those times when everything feels just too much.
Note : a gentle encouragement if you're going through a tough time or feeling overwhelmed, to reach out and speak to someone, whether a trusted friend, family member or a therapist of some kind. This exercise is not intended as a substitute for therapy, but as a daily source of support.
Make a list
what are your resources / 'sources of support'? Or your 'what feels good list'
Things which feel helpful, soothing, grounding, that allow you to come back to embodied awareness
Note : as there’s no 'one size fits all' approach, not all of the practices will be helpful for all people. Experimentation, and noticing the effect on YOU and your own unique experience / body / mind is the best way.
A few suggestions, below.
Internal Resources - generated from within. Always available
Ground
feeling feet on the earth, or back or front lying on the earth. Feeling the earth rising up to meet you, and the feeling of support gradually rising up through your body. A visualisation also of sending roots down into the earth.
Rooted, steady, here, present, alive.
Sway or rock
You might want to cross your arms over your chest to hug yourself, and explore a soothing rhythm, rocking and swaying. I've noticed just how held, tense and rigid I can be during moments through the day, when I catch myself. Sometimes this comes due to anticipation or a sense of overwhelm. Swaying and rocking feel to me like a helpful antidote and reminder to come back and gently let go a bit (if possible!).
Sound
Making a sound, or chanting, can create a sense of inner spaciousness and peace. Chanting 'voooo' is a practice from Somatic Experiencing, Dr Peter Levine's method of somatic trauma therapy. The vibrations created by this practice are suggested to stimulate the internal viscera (organs), bringing us back to a sense of aliveness, and stimulate the vagus nerve, which in turn provides a signal to help the nervous system to downregulate (helping us to let go of excess charge and find a more restful baseline). This sends a signal to our body that its safe to relax. To do this : sit, stand or lie comfortably. Inhale, and exhale sound the out breath with the sound 'vooooo', it might sound like a quiet fog horn! Let go, and notice any sensations in your body that you connect with here. Repeat up to twice more. During the sound and after, notice any sensations that you connect with in your body.
Shake
Move activation / charged excess energy through you by shaking. This could be a tiny, gentle movement done while sitting or wherever you find yourself through your day, or a bigger, standing movement. One way to do this is to stand, feet to the earth and to bend and extend the knees and allow the bounce / shake to move through your whole body.
Contact
Comforting / soothing / nouishing touch of your hands to your body. You might place your hand to your heart and another to your belly. You might place both hands on your lower belly, and connect with the natural movement that happens as you breathe. Or perhaps a hand on your forehead and another on your heart. Notice a sense of energy flow or relaxation.
Tapping
Using fingertips, soft fists, or perhaps massage balls to do this. Tap over the surfance of your body: you can cover everywhere, tapping lightly or to your preferred pressure level - legs, pelvis, back, belly, chest, arms, shoulders, head, face. During and after, notice the sensations that arrive through your skin, and bring your awareness into that felt sense for a few moments.
Recall when you felt most like yourself
Another SE practice, taught by Peter Levine. You could take a few moments to write down : when did you last feel most like yourself (perhaps sometime in the last 24 hours, or further back)? Allow yourself to remember with as much detail as possible : draw on your senses : what can you see, hear, feel, smell, taste, how are you moving? As you go into the memory, what's happening in your body right now?
Track
Sit, stand or lie down. Bring awareness to sensations in your body. Sensation can show up in many different ways : perhaps with a texture (smooth, rough, spiky), density (light, dense), colour, a sense of movement (vibration, hum), a sense of being quick or slow. Can you identify, follow and describe one of the sensations that you connect with in your body at this moment? As you follow this, can you perhaps notice something shift : maybe more space, or some kind of settling within you? Can you find another sensation, and follow again? Perhaps you notice again something shift : a sense of greater space, or a settling?
External Resources
Resources outside of yourself, in activities, or in nature. We can connect with these, and in turn they can help us to connect back to ourselves.
Nature
Can you find a place we find beautiful in nature, and simply sit, lie down, stand, walk there? Can you feel yourself submerged and held by the earth, air, water? Can you feel the breeze, or water on your skin? The earth beneath you? The shade and the light, reflections and shadow? Can you smell, or taste the air? Can you see something far, like the horizon, and something close up, like a flower? What is most beautiful around you?
Nourishment
Good food, and water. nourishing connections with friends and family. Have a shower or a bath, and / or give yourself a massage. A hug or a lean with a friend / loved one.
Inspiration
Art, music, reading : can you take yourself out to find beauty and inspiration? Julia Cameron suggests this in her book 'the Artist's Way' - each week, take yourself out on a date to find and absorb beauty and inspiration.
Creativity
Write, paint, draw, dance, cook / bake, garden, grow plants, sing, write music. What do you feel called and most inspired to create?
Play
Wrestle, dance, build sand castles. Do something just for the pure fun of it.
Journalling
As self-awareness is a great starting point in our journey to help regulate our nervous systems, it can be a good practice to notice (perhaps journal):
When you’re stressed, overwhelmed, tired, or activated in your energy, what do you tend to do?
Which of these resources are helpful to you? What do you notice when you try them?
Are there any more that you’d add to your list?
I hope this was helpful. Feel free to send me a message or comment below with what came up for you or any questions. Also, please feel free to share!
Charlotte x