"Fulfill through curiosity rather than trying to fulfill a form" - Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen
I try and come back to these words from Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen as an intention in my yoga practice. Curiosity over end result feels like a satisfying way of working, to me. Regardless of our level of experience, from day 1 or 10 years in, we can have a rich experience, that way! Regardless of what our pose looks like, we can plunge into the depth of feeling it, and experiencing it.
A good way to start getting curious is with bringing awareness to ourselves, noticing what's present. Perhaps easier said than done, and that’s ok. We are often adept at keeping busy and avoiding noticing how we are. It can get easier with time, and with practice, we can check in and gather what we know about ourselves in less time.
Below are a few guidelines on how to do this, at the start of a yoga practice, or any time throughout the day.
Why?
My experience of checking in is that it often feels like an unravelling - it gives space for whatever is present. An unexpected wonder and surprise in meeting myself ‘oh! Hello…. Where did that thought / idea / insight come from?’ I didn't notice at all how I was. I’ll often feel more settled, and grounded as a result of the checking in.
Also, whatever information we gather can be used to guide our practice, or our day ahead. Perhaps we decide to focus a bit more on a particular area of our body with care and attention, for example.
Present moment experience can guide us to new information, perhaps, instead of that thing we expected to notice or experience.
Somatic Baseline Check
Sit comfortably, on a chair, or on the ground, or lie down on the ground. Get comfortable. It can feel good to use a pillow, folded in half if you would like to make it feel more substantial (up to you, according to what feels good), rest the pillow against your belly.
- Condense the pillow in to the front of your belly, holding it with your hands
- Lean back into the chair, or lie with your back against the ground, and notice the contact you have with both the chair / ground and the pillow - like you've made a sandwich of your body between the two surfaces
- Bring attention to your breath. A gentle, easy breath, no need to work hard with it. Feel free to close your eyes if that feels ok, otherwise feel free to keep them open
- From noticing the contact you have with the pillow and the chair / ground, then shift your attention to the 'inner layer' between them, ie, your body. Like your awareness is travelling down, in a lift, to the level of your chest, your upper back , and then the very centre of your body - what's your experience of this inner layer of your body, right in the middle of your body?
- As you bring your attention there, ask yourself :
'how am I doing?' and 'what in me wants to be recognised or acknowledged right now?' as if you have thrown a pebble into a pond, you have thrown this question in to the depths of your being. Wait and notice if a response arises from within. This is an experiment - something may or may not arise, however, can you be present to notice and catch the emerging response, if one does arise? This may arise as sensation or feeling, imagery or words
- As what is present begins to reveal itself, try describing what it is to yourself, to feel out whether it's a 'right fit' - for example 'I feel like a tangled knot, I feel like I need space'... no, no, not quite right 'I feel like a heavy , thick load upon me, heavy weighty, dark, dry' There are many possibilities here - feel out what is right for you and feel free to experiment. You can go into detail with texture, temperature, lightness, darkness, any sensations, wetness, dryness, colour, other imagery.
A few more questions to ‘throw in’ to the depths of you:
- How is my level of energy or quality of energy? Again, have a go at describing what you notice, in the same way as above.
- Are there any emotions present ? You don’t have to know what they are, or label them, but how do my emotions feel in my body - go through to the layers of sensation ‘a bubbly pool…. A cool, bubbly, fizzy, blue pool’
- How is my body - what do I notice - any sensations present? Hold whatever is present with care and attention, not needing to change it, giving space to be, exactly as I am, in this moment
You may wish to thank yourself for taking the time to connect with yourself, and gradually transition back to more of an external place, noticing the sounds around you, the temperature of the air, your breath, and taking the time to re-surface gradually.
You may wish to journal:
Was there anything within the check-in that was familiar to you?
Was there anything within the check-in that was surprising?
What within you wanted to be seen, heard or recognised?
Were there any sensations present and how did you experience them - vibration, temperature, a sense of dry / wet, colour, form, texture, for example?
What were the most present thoughts / feelings during the check in?
Was there a place in your body where you noticed those thoughts / feelings arise from?
Did your experience from beginning to end shift during the check in?
Did any part of your body’s internal landscape inform you of anything to take action on in your life?
Is there anything still unravelling that will take a while longer to process / make sense of?
How soon would your internal landscape like you to check in again?
Hope this was helpful, let me know how you get on with it!