At the moment, many of us reading this are staying in, and living some version of (what may feel by this point) Groundhog Day. Maybe in your staying in, you are still working, maybe not, but life has the potential to still be (surprisingly) full, and perhaps also to feel full with the extra mental space the current situation is occupying.

So, in the midst of our home / workspace / chillout space / all-in-one space - where and how can we carve out a little corner for ourselves, in which to rest, just to be, and feel the separation from the demands of life?

I’ll seek to guide you to find clarity on this with the next few paragraphs, as clarity = power (as Marie Forleo, who I’m studying with at the moment, says). The clearer we are on an idea or a practice, the more easily we can implement it into our own lives, if we choose to.

I remember a few years back, lying on the ground at the London Buddhist Centre, in East London, being guided through a yoga practice, where we were invited to ‘leave our wet weather gear at the door’. We had physically removed our coats and shoes, however the teacher was also asking us to shed the layers of physical and mental tension that we were carrying from the outside world, in order to arrive in this quiet and special place, to rest and simply be, for a short while. That was a powerful image, that has stayed with me. It referred to the idea of a sanctuary, somewhere away from the density of the demands of everyday life.

At home, how do we get there, is it possible to create this kind of space?

I believe so. We can do the following:

1. Choose a space at home and (optionally) bring special objects in to it.

You may already have a space in which you like to sit for a quiet few moments. If not, choose somewhere that (if at all possible) you won’t be walked past, or interrupted - maybe you can even shut the door to enclose you in your own coccoon. it doesnt need to be a dedicated ‘zen den’ or whole room (what a luxury that would be?!), perhaps it’s a space by the side of your bed, or somewhere else in your bedroom; the corner of a living room. Optionally, once you have found the space, bring some objects there that have positive association (up to you what this is, be creative!) - flowers, plants, jewellery, sculpture / photos / other art, a book, anything that brings you stillness and peace, maybe even joy. You might want to arrange these on a piece of furniture or in a corner. And then, work on keeping that space reasonably clear and clean of bits of fluff, hair, floordrobe, the usual bits of debris :)

2. Dedicate time in that space

With any habit, it may take time to establish, however the more we do it, the easier it becomes. A bit like a stream of water running over rock, as the water flows, the rock becomes ingrained with the pathway of the water. And in a similar way, any habit that we repeat will become more and more ingrained as we practice it more and more. With things that are good for us (like taking a quiet moment to pause, or taking a rest, or doing a yoga practice, doing exercise), we often meet resistance to doing that thing - so it’s easier said than done. Why is that??! Some kind of mean law of nature. When I heard Steven Pressfield describing it in this way, it was a revelation to me. He said that, like the universal law of yin and yang energy, whenever we are practising something that is good for our health and development, we will meet resistance to doing that thing - ie, it will be hard. He describes his own journey (as a writer) and that he doesn’t mind how much writing he does each day, his capacity to create (as with all of us) varies day to day, however, if he has met resistance - ie, noticed the resistance and done the thing anyway, even if just a small bit, then he is satisfied for that day. So, in our home space, if we can practice arriving there, and being there without distraction, day in, day out, the energy of momentum will build there and also the energy of association - over time, as soon as we arrive in that space, our body and whole self may breathe a sigh of relief.

3. Decide what are you going to do in the space

You have the power to choose this! Maybe you would like to establish a meditation practice. Maybe it’s a Yoga practice. Maybe a Yoga and meditation practice. A journalling practice? A reading practice? Maybe it’s simply sitting with a cup of tea, without distraction for a bit, or lying down for a quiet few minutes. Whatever it is, I would suggest, in order to get the best chance at separation from the demands of the everyday, do not take your phone! Make it a no screen zone.

You may wish to do your own thing here, to ‘free solo’. Or you may wish to be guided. If you are practising Yoga or meditation, there are lots of live, online classes at the moment and my experience is, it can feel different to practising by yourself - you are having the space ‘held’ for you - a bit like the cocoon - like a bubble and a feeling of different space can reach you from the outside in, to help you to connect inwardly. My friend Jo said her favourite moment of the day at the moment is ‘‘when I join an online yoga or meditation session in the morning or evening and feel connected with myself, the universe and others through a shared practice’.

Whatever it is you decide to do, be specific about it! Write it down (see the journalling prompt below)

4. When are you going to have this quiet moment, and how often?

Coming back to clarity = power. Decide when you are going to dedicate this time to your quiet moments. You may want to mark these in your calendar. Bessel van der Kolk, author of ‘The Body Keeps the Score’ in a recent video talks about how structure is really important to us at this time, when in many ways we have lost the freedom of choice that we normally have. In that case, let’s design our day! And factor in quiet moments. According to Yoga wisdom, there are junctions or transition points throughout the day, sandhyas - times when the veil is less dense or in other words, when we are naturally more attuned to the experience of non-duality (that we are all ‘a drop in a single ocean’) (see David Whyte’s beautiful ‘what to remember when waking’ for some poetic wisdom around connecting with the stillness of early morning time).

5. What to do before you even arrive in that space

I’ve been experimenting with things that really help with a sense of ‘energy re-set’ while at home. The most potent thing, I find, is having a shower, with a cold burst at the end - wim-hof style! I worked up to allowing the cold - first just a few seconds, then gradually built up, now I actually enjoy the feeling of the cold and will stay there for around 5 minutes, focusing on my breath being steady and calm. During the shower, I envision tiredness, heaviness, stodgyness, foggy-headedness (which might be labelled as ‘stagnant energy’) being washed away. The reason I feel the shower is helpful is, there are many visualisations for things like this, but to actually *feel* is way more powerful. As you notice the physical sensations of the water, imagine it washing away any ‘stagnant energy’ and feel your body becoming alive! I find this also clears the mind quite well - imagine ‘thought-dust’ being washed away.

If, in your quiet space, you are going to be taking a yoga or meditation practice, when you begin, connect with your ‘centre’ for a few moments. Connect with body and breath, notice how you are today, guage your level of energy, notice any sensations in your body - any areas that are calling your attention, how your mind is - how active or how still - you can use this to guide you for the practice ahead, for example in terms of how actively you move, where to bring particular focus to your body for the practice ahead, and also as a baseline check : how do I feel at the beginning, and how do I feel at the end?

Finally - whatever you do, hopefully you enjoy the process :)

Take time with it, be clear and specific about the above steps, and that way it will be easier to get there. Clarity = Power.

Some Questions to journal :

Where is my quiet space at home? maybe a whole room, maybe the space by the side of the bed, maybe a corner of a room

What objects could I bring in to that space to bring a positive association? photos, stones, candles, artwork, flowers, plants - anything goes! something that brings you a sense of calm and stillness, maybe even joy

What would I like to do with my time there? Sitting with a cup of tea, lying down, meditation, yoga, journalling, writing, dancing? Anything goes. Make it screen-free in order to maximise the chances of feeling separation from demands of the everyday.

When will I be in that space? Which days, and which times during the day work for me? How long will I spend there? Put this in your calendar! Consider the specific times of the day that work well for stillness, according to Yoga wisdom - sunrise, noon, and sunset, but any time that works for you is the best time.

How to create a space at home that feels special, and make a habit of quiet moments in your day